COREY B.

Wow being where I am right now is one of the most amazing feelings I have ever felt in  my life.  It is amazing in many ways, but the one biggest is the fact that I did it and all on my own.

Being one of the first students to be enrolled in Red River Academy, I have seen so many things happen, people leave and come, but the most important thing, is one of the best and life changing events in my life.  I have learned the value of my life and realize that drugs and other other things I was doing was not going to get me to where I want to be.

Coming to Red River Academy assisted me in getting my own life straight and establish a working and loving communication system with my parents and family members.  I now have goals and have re-established and created new dreams.  My biggest dream is to help kids who are like I was.  With this new dream, I have been really serious and curious about what it would take to start a program like Red River.  This dream and goal will be tough, but with the tools and knowledge that I have learned, I will be able to do this.

In the beginning of my program I was one of around ten people in the only family at Red River.  I quickly fell into acceptance, and was doing things that were the exact opposite of working my program.  Now, I am working it and doing what I need to do to get what I want.  In the end, I am ultimately proud of myself, my parents, and I am glad that I came to the program.

COREY B.

CURRENTLY ENROLLED

RED RIVER ACADEMY

MY LIFE CHANGING EXPERIENCE

Have you ever felt like dying and just getting rid of the pain and hurt? Then asking God why he even created you, like it was His fault? That’s how my life was the two or three years before I came to Red River Academy. I remember getting to the point where I just wanted to end everything so I wouldn’t have to deal with life, thinking it was the only way out, not even considering how my family or people around me would feel. About the time I turned thirteen, four years ago, life started to change. I switched schools and started going to a middle/high school and I started getting involved in other things. When I was younger I can still remember being so innocent and pure and I loved my life. Later when I switched schools I stopped doing what I loved to do and started doing what other people loved for me to do. As a child and throughout middle school I was always picked on and taunted because of my weight. I still remember coming home from school almost every afternoon and running to my room crying because some kid said something mean to me. I wouldn’t even eat at school because I was afraid of getting picked on. My eighth grade year was when I started transforming into a young lady. I stated to become interested in boys, mainly because I was starting to get attention from them I had never received before. I had a huge problem with loving myself, mainly because anything anyone would say to me, I would automatically believe. Other people started taking interest in me, yet I found this hard to accept. I started taking pills in eighth grade so I wouldn’t get hungry in order to lose weight. From there things got worse. I started dating someone and hanging out with what people call “the wrong crowd”. I ended up failing the eighth grade because I was high all the time, school wasn’t a priority anymore. I gave up on family, hopes, dreams, and more importantly I gave up on myself. I just knew there was no hope for me. My parents & I went to counseling for three years and it seemed like things would go good for a while then I would mess everything up, or at least that’s what I told myself. My drug issue started escalating and within a couple of months and I was stealing hundreds of dollars from my family a week just to get high. When my parents would try to talk to me I would scream and yell at them and let them know who’s in charge now and I didn’t need any help. I would lock myself in my room everyday, all day, and not speak to anyone. I thought I was fine on my own and I was planning to move out if they didn’t listen. I started running away not even knowing where I was going half the time, hoping wherever life took me it would be better than home. I thought things were so bad at home when really all my parents were trying to do was understand and love me. A couple of weeks after my sixteenth birthday my parents decided to send me to a boarding school. They were hoping that would fix everything within a couple of months and I could come home and everything would be fine. Within two days of arriving at French Camp Academy, I ran away. The next day my parents picked me up. Boy was I happy! I just knew I was going back home. After a nine hour drive, or at least it felt like it, I knew where I was going wasn’t home. I arrived at Red River Academy on August 21, 2006, and that’s when my life began to change. Waking up the next morning to eleven girls standing in line doing a head count, was not exactly what I called home. In the beginning months of my program, I was very fake. I was waiting on my parents to pull me and I definitely wasn’t planning on working the program. Everyday I would wake up with a smile on my face when really I was dying inside. I remember my very first day; I went to what I called progress review. It was a meeting that we had every morning where we poured our hearts out and talked about what was going on with us. OK, sitting in a small room with eleven other girls I knew nothing about, Yeah, right! I was not going to share with them about how I was really feeling. After about two weeks my Family Rep. called me out for not sharing. My excuse was, nothing was bothering me and I didn’t know what to share about. One thing I was really scared of was the feedback I would get. I watched girls pour their heart out and then see them get feedback like they’re being a victim or they’re being fake. There was no way I was going to get treated like that. About three weeks after my stay at Red River, I attended my very first seminar, Orientation. I was so excited because I thought after I graduate seminars, I could go home. Orientation was a wake up all for me. From then on, my program was pretty much sailing by. I was doing the bare minimum, still waiting on my parents to pull me, and just waiting on seminars to pass. The first time I went through Focus, and I chose out because I wasn’t willing to do the work. A couple of weeks later, I had disciplinary action again because my parents were tired of watching me slide by and didn’t want me coming home doing the same things. They chose not to write to me until I started working. I had to straighten up and start doing something with my program. After about two months of not receiving one letter from either parent, I was sitting in progress review, preparing for Focus for the second time, and my Family Rep. said something that changed my outlook on things from then on out. I had always had it in my mind that now I’m gone my parents are so happy without me and I’m saving them from a lot of pain. My Family Rep., at the time, told me my Mom would go up to my room and lay on my bed crying, waiting for me to come home. After going to Focus for the second time I realized my parents weren’t coming to pull me and I had to do something for myself. Focus changed my life and I saw what I had been doing to myself and to my family. I learned I deserve to live and every single time I wouldn’t share or I would manipulate my way through letters I was basically saying you die Mom, you die Dad, and hurting myself.  The hardest part of my stay at Red River was realizing that I deserved better than I was giving myself and knowing that my parents do love me.  They were trying to save my life before I ended up on the streets, dead, or pregnant.  As of right now, I have been in the program for fifteen and a half months, and graduating in December.  A year and a half ago, I couldn’t see myself doing what I’m doing now.  I am starting college in January and following my dream to work with animals.  Throughout my program I have had many bumps and many times where I just felt like giving up.  The biggest thing I have learned was I am strong enough to handle anything that comes my way and I deserve everything and more.  I have gotten so close to people here and so many people have come and gone in my life.  I will never forget the people I have met, the relationships I have created, and the tools I have learned.  I have been at rock bottom, and brought myself up from when I thought there was no hope.  But there was and there always will be.  This past year and a half of my life has been the most significant, amazing life changing experience of my entire existence.  I know there will be tough times when I go home.  I will face temptations and old friends but I know I have the strength to handle it.  I’ve already proven myself through home passes that I can handle it and I know I will.  The main thing I’ve learned about myself is…I am a Beautiful, Intelligent, Loving, Courageous and Worthy Young Woman.  My purpose is to live each day like it’s my last, love myself while making a difference in other lives. and always have faith in God.  This is the beginning of my journey into life without drugs, sex, lies, and hate.  I am ready to fly and become the beautiful butterfly that I was born to be!

CHELSEA T.

CURRENTLY ENROLLED

RED RIVER ACADEMY

WORTH IT IN THE END

My daughter, Amanda, recently graduated in November from Red River Academy after being there for 15 months.  When she first entered the program, I didn’t know if the program would really work.  I thought I was just saving her life, but I soon realized I was also saving myself too.  I had a lot of fears in the beginning, but as my daughter was changing and progressing, eventually those fears disappeared as I was also changing and progressing with her.  The seminars have been a big contribution to everything I have learned, and have assisted me to continue to grow stronger and stronger each day.  Our lines of communication are open and honest and we have a great relationship now.  I always thought when the kids come back from the program, they’re supposed to be this completely new person.  However, I’ve learned you actually get the same kid back, not that they behave like they did before the program, but in the sense they just have more knowledge and the tools to help them better themselves and make working choices in life.  My daughter wrote me a very touching and heartfelt poem for Mothers Day.  I couldn’t believe my daughter had actually written this for me.  In the past, it would have been filled with “I hate you” and “You ruined my life”, but this was just the opposite.  I had tears in my eyes after reading it, tears of joy that is.  In my head, I was thinking ” am so glad I have my baby girl back.”  I felt like I had lost her for so long and reading this and seeing her today makes me so happy and proud.  It’s like a dream come true, more than anything I could have ever asked for.  The learning never stops; we have both learned so much and will continue to learn with the new experiences ahead of us in life.  If we make a mistake, its okay, we will learn from it and move on and better ourselves in the end.  As I said earlier, I had my doubts about the program, but now I can honestly say I truly believe in the program based on the results I have received.  It takes time, it gets rough, so be patient and hang in there because it is all definitely well worth it in the end.

TRAN L.

DAUGHTER AMANDA P.

GRADUATED NOVEMBER 2007

RED RIVER ACADEMY

I JUST CAN’T GIVE UP NOW

I’m sitting here on my Home Pass and I will be going back to Red River in 4 days.  This will be the last time I will be home and then going back to school, next month I will going on my final Home Pass  and then directly to PC4.  I will have been in the program for 15 months.  I have been through so many ups and downs on this amazing journey.  I’ve been through several probation periods and I learned so much each time.  The biggest thing I have gained since I’ve been in the program would be strength.  Each time I “fell” I picked myself up, no matter how hard it was, and that was the biggest way I built up the incredible amount of strength that I have today.  When I first entered Red River, all I wanted to do was get out and get back to my old lifestyle.  The choices that led me into the program were alcohol, cigarettes, partying, disrespecting myself, disrespecting my family, lying, guy issues, thinking my friends were my world, etc….My number one purpose for living was for partying with my friends.  It took my a while to finally realize that wasn’t the life I wanted to live anymore.  To tell the truth, even before I came here, I did want to change, but I never put action to it.  I wanted a better relationship with my mom, yet I was too preoccupied at home to do anything different.  The program has given me the opportunity to rekindle everything I ever wanted, plus more.  I have a feeling, a lot of kids will probably be faced with similar situations like mine and will struggle with hoe to deal with them, so I would like to share my experience, which occurred in June, on my second Home Pass.  I was faced with many struggles and obstacles.  The first day I was home, my old friends called and came by my  house looking for me; my mom went outside and talked to them.  A few days later, we were at the mall and I again saw another old friend, who then called 3 of my other old friends and they all showed up.  I talked to them this time and told them I have changed a lot and I wasn’t into the same things as before.  Although I did declare where I stood with them, somewhere deep down inside me, I was still holding on and didn’t stand as strong in my beliefs as I should have.  Later that night, my two old best friends called and showed up at my house at 11:30 at night.  I couldn’t believe the extremes they were going to, and although I was surprised, in my head it made me doubt myself and start to think they really did care about me.  Before the program, my friends were my biggest weakness; they were my world.  I completely forgot about my family, the people who loved me and were willing to do anything to save me, for people who were just interested in me for the partying and the hook ups.  I let that weakness control me.  I let my mind start to fall for all the nice and pretty things they were saying.  I had to learn the hard way, but I’m glad I learned at all.  Also, while my  mom and I were working on my Life Contract, a lot of issues came up and we had a lot of disagreements.   During this time, I allowed a lot of my old patterns to come up, such as my attitude, control, anger, and frustration.  As you all know, there wer obvious consequences for my actions when I returned to school.  This was probably the hardest month I have ever had in the program as well as the hardest I had ever worked in my program.  I was eligible to graduate in August, but because of my actions, I have created a graduation in November.  Although I created 2 extra months in the program for myself, I am thankful for this time because it has given me the opportunity to learn even more as well as treasure the time I have left.  I’ve met some of the most amazing people and I’ve formed some of the closest bonds I’ve ever experienced in my entire life there in the program.  Since then, I was allowed to go on another Home Pass to try things out and see how things would go.  This was definately the biggest success I’ve had in my program, but needless to say, it taught me i can accomplish anything I put my mind to.  A couple of days ago, I also ran into a few old friends again,, but this time I stood strong with where I stand in my life and in a respectful way told them I don’t want to have anything to do with my old life, including them.  I know I will still have to deal with this when I come home but I feel like I put a very strong message out there for them to back off and now I finally have the closure I need.  I thank God I came to the program because at times I’ll think of my past and I can’t even believe the things I was doing or would have been doing if I had not come to the program.  For the first time in my life, I’ve found a genuine happiness and love for not only my family, but most importantly myself.  I am so proud of myself for everything I have accomplished these past 15 months; but it definitely hasn’t been a piece of cake.  This program wasn’t made to be easy, it’s supposed to be very challenging and it definitely is, but it is also the best thing that has ever happened to me.  Everything I have been through will always be a part of me forever.  I am so excited to finally go home, but at the same time I have a great amount of sadness in this last month before I leave.  I have random breakdowns of crying thinking about saying goodbye and leaving.  I came into the program thinking I would get absolutely nothing out of it, but i was so wrong.  I am leaving here, not only as a beautiful, honest, strong, and loving young woman, but as well as with so many true relationships I’ve ever had before in my life.  I never would’ve expected to have these kinds of feelings and emotions that I have attached with so many people at Red River.  I have gotten more support than I could ever imagine.  There’s this song that one of our chaperone’s sings to us, there’s a line in the lyrics that says “I just can’t give up now.  I’ve come too far from where I started from.  Nobody told me the road would be easy…”  I think about that a lot because I look back at July of 2006 and see where I started from and to see how far I’ve come and where I am today, I get this warm fuzzy feeling of amazement.  Like I said before, it was been anything but easy, but it  has definitely been worth all the work.  In a month, I will be concluding this last chapter of my program and beginning a new chapter into my life.  I will be a program graduate as well as a High School graduate and will start college in the fall of next year.  I have learned so much, but the biggest lesson I’ve learned is that for every fall, I will always rise even higher, and I have proven that to myself numerous times!

A POEM FOR MY MOTHER:

 I love  you with all my heart,

You mean so much to me.

We have a fresh new start,

And together will always be.

We’ve been through it all together,

The good and the bad

Now things are getting better,

And I’ll  no longer make you sad.

I’m sorry for all of the pain,

I wish I could take it all back,

I know this is no longer a game,

We will keep going and won’t back track.

We have come a long way,

We are both changing.

I will be home to stay,

And our lives will be rearranging.

Thank you for all you’ve done for me,

You have always been there.

Now I finally see,

How much you really care.

Now it’s my turn to show you how

much I love you.

You really are the best.

To you I will always be true,

And you can finally get some rest.

I LOVE YOU MOM!!!!

AMANDA PHU

GRADUATED NOVEMBER 2007

RED RIVER ACADEMY

MY JOURNEY

I started this journey 18 months ago when my oldest son, Corey, was escorted to Red River Academy in the middle of the night.  It was a difficult decision to make but I knew from the very beginning that it was right.

RRA was new. Corey was the 10th boy admitted.  I had lots of questions.  I had lots of emotions.  My Family Rep. was there for me, comforting me, answering all of my questions.

I was first asked to send Corey a Commitment Letter.  I did what the School and the “Program” recommended and I sent it..telling him that he WOULD be at RRA until graduation.  There was no wavering in this decision.

I was told about Discovery and encouraged to attend.  This was the next step in Corey’s recovery, after the commitment letter.  I traveled to Dallas to attend the seminar.  I thought it was to tell me what my son was going to experience while at his school BOY!!! What a surprise and experience for me!

Discovery was great! I was anxious, exhausted, motivated, disturbed, exhilarated…you name the emotion, I felt it!  Then, I started hearing about the next seminar, Focus.  I remember asking my ex husband & his wife…”Are ya’ll coming to this next seminar?”  I just really didn’t realize how much time and effort all this was going to include.

I knew, deep down, that I needed Focus.  Not just a message to Corey that I was “working MY program” but for ME!  I registered, completed my Post-Discovery homework and made reservations at the hotel.  I REALLY had no idea what to expect.  My assumptions for Discovery were way off so I told myself not to even make up anything about what Focus might be like. 

WOW!  Focus was FABULOUS!!!  If you haven’t attended, I recommend you get to the next available Focus seminar!  Travel to wherever in the country you need to go.  It’s worth it!

So, I kept hearing that me attending the adult seminars is sending am message to my Program Kid that “I’m working my program…You need to work yours!!”  I’m trying really hard NOT to get sucked in to where Corey was because, to tell you the truth, he was STUCK!!  His Dad, Stepmom & I had graduated Focus in September 2006 & we were headed for our first keys seminar and Corey was still stuck in his junk.

I completed Effective Communication, Addiction Awareness & Being in Relationship in my region & then traveled to New Jersey with 8 other wonderful people I started my journey with to attend Purposeful Life.  All this by May 2007.  As I arrived in Houston in May to staffing my first seminar, Discovery, I received news that my son had finally graduated Focus on his fourth attempt.  Great for him!  I couldn’t wait for him to catch up with me!!

After staffing Discovery, I was determined to continue supporting this new group of parents in their journey by staff their Focus.  WHAT AN AWESOME EXPERIENCE!!!  Being a participant is wonderful but being a staffer is the ultimate.  I recommend that everyone take advantage of this wonderful opportunity!!

So, since staffing Focus, I have continued with my Keys family, watched my son learn and grow in his program & I became  Key Holder/User in November.  Corey has “caught up” to me and my program and will graduate PC4 3 days before Christmas this year.  What a wonderful gift for our family.  And what a family we have created!!  Anything is possible if you have the tools and the determination!

 So, my message to you all is simple…Attend the seminars offered through your school. They are worth the time, travel and expense.  You can’t expect your child to work his/her program if you arent’ working yours!!! Your child knows that there are seminars for the parents and when you aren’t going & all his peer’s parents are, what message are you sending??? Your child didn’t choose the program all on his/her own.  There was a breakdown in your home that contributed to his/her choices.  What steps are you going to take to create a working household for when he/she comes home?

I believe the steps include EVERY seminar offered to you through the school, from Discovery, Focus, every Keys and every PC!  As Nike says…Just Do It!  Do it for your family!!!

DENISE B.

SON COREY B.

CURRENTLY ENROLLED

RED RIVER ACADEMY

ONE PARENT’S DISCOVERY EXPERIENCE

When I enrolled my son into Red River Academy in November, I was told about a series of seminars available to the parents to help heal the family  I thought them to be a set of parenting seminars.  I am all for learning to be a better person or a better parent.  I was extremely excited and signed up for the first one I could get in my area.  Then I started asking questions of other parents and staff - what is this seminar all about?  Only to get the answer - go with an open mind and enjoy the journey.  What in the world was I in for?

Discovery has happened and I am a new Discovery graduate.  I can tell you it is not a parenting seminar per se, it is not a motivational seminar per se, and it is not a group therapy session.  So what is Discovery?  It is all of this and so much more and I am honored to be asked to share my experience withyou.

Discovery is just what the name implies, a discovery of your beliefs, attitudes and behaviors.  It is you taking a look inside yourself to see what you have locked away, repressed, hidden, or not dealt with.  It becomes clear during the weekend that these things have impacted our relationships with our families and friends, influenced our thoughts of others, and in many cases, held us back from reaching our potentials.

Discovery is also about learning new tools and techniques to problem solve; new ways to look at old beliefs, and new ways to communicate.

The biggest lessons I learned were around choice and accountability.  Choice is a concept that I have worked with for many years; after all, we all make choices right?  But Discovery helped me to see that choice and accountability are very closely related.  I realized that while I made choices I was not able to account for the choices I was making.  Rather I looked in the past at my choices and never stopped to look at the choices I was making (good or bad) while they were going on.  As a result I reacted more and ofter did not like the choices that I made.   I found I lived in the past rather than living in the moment.

I was not accountable and thus I did not hold my children accountable.  By not holding my children accountable for their choices I felt compelled to fix things for them or show them they way.  Since they were never accountable for the results, they never learned; they just expected to have dad step in and take care of things.  I can tell you my two boys at home are learning about accountability and we are seeing some signs they are getting the message.  I now hold them accountable for their school work and their chores.  While it is not nirvana yet, they are starting to understand their choices impact their experience with the rules of the house.

Another big change for me had to deal with my beliefs of unworthiness.  Going into Discovery I firmly believed that I was an introvert because I would not openly reach out to people.  I did not like talking with strangers and would rather spend time to myself.  This created a lot of stress for me as I choose to work a job that puts me in front of strangers every day of the week.  Well, my friends at Discovery saw through that and told me so.  It opened my eyes and made me take my first hand look at myself during our fight night.  On the second day I learned my fear was really about getting close to people due to some negative experience with my father, I always felt unworthy of his love while my brother was worthy of his love and acceptance.  I realized this negative relationship also impacted my ability to openly communicate with my older brother and any number of business contacts and family members in my life.

In the week since Discovery I have sen the relationship with  many of my customers improve and I have had a newfound ability to share positive and negative feedback without fear or anxiety.  I do feel my new sense of worthiness has helped me have more confidence with unique business environments as well.  My newly recovered sense of worthiness has also helped me interact with my children better!

So my Discovery experience for the weekend is over but not finished. I have discovered more about myself than I thought there was to see.  I took risks.  I touched others and allowed myself to be touched on a new deeper emotional level as well as physically - I let myself get and give hugs!  I discovered my genuine laugh and smile again.  But I also discovered holes that needed to be filled; log jams that needed to be broken down; and I found my long lost magical child.  Now the hard work begins, taking action and internalizing the messages; making the changes for my life to enable my family to be healthy.

JOEL H.

SON JJ H.

ENROLLED RED RIVER ACADEMY

MY “LIFE”

I am only seventeen years old and I have already had two different lives. My life at home was friends, drugs, sex, partying and having what I called fun. I started my “life” when I was twelve. I can still remember the exact day when and where it all began. I can also remember the week leading up to the end of my old life and beginning the life that I live now. In that last week I was staying at my grandparents house still smoking, doing drugs and whatever else I wanted to do. I only talked to my mom once a week and when I did, it was about living on my own and how I was fine the way I was. I did not talk to my dad at all because I thought he was the cause of all the pain in my life and the reason things were falling apart.

It was a two-hour drive to Red River Academy, a silent, long drive. Although I had no idea I was going to be staying at a boarding school, I knew we were not just going to see a counselor like they said. Now, I look at that day, it was one of the worst and best days of my life. It was the first time that I saw my dad cry and the first time I saw what I was doing to my family and myself.

My life now is myself, family, fun and a long journey. It took me a while to get started. My first month or so, I stayed focused on home, my dad and in denial about my drug addiction. My family rep. and my parents were not too happy. My parents stopped writing me for about two months and that is when I started working on myself. After that kick from my parents and the support of a few of the girls who I had become friends with, I started moving up. It was about five and a half months after I got here that I really started to progress. All my work had paid off. Of course, not everyone was as excited as I was. I passed up a couple of girls who had been here longer and they did not like it.

Through my program, I have had some bumps, but they were things I got through and some I am still fighting to overcome. My biggest one is my drug addiction. At home, all I knew was drugs, they made me happy and I was living off the idea that I could stop if I wanted to. Now I know it is short gain and long pain, because now I fight everyday to stay away from drugs when I leave here. I have no doubt I am going to stay sober and clean when I go home, though it will be a challenger. I have had numerous signs to get out of that kind of lifestyle. When I was about twelve or thirteen, my Uncle died from a drug related accident. On my first and second home pass, I found out two of my friends died because of drugs, one got shot and I do not know how the other one died. It has been a struggle for me to lose people like that, however it has made me a lot stronger.

I have had numerous things which I have struggled. My little sister was sent here five months after me. I don’t like living with a bunch of girls and being homesick. I didn’t’ want to come back to this place after my home pass, but I will never regret what it has done for me, or its purpose. I have gotten to know myself, get back with my family, learned and know I can have fun without drugs and discover what I love to do. Before I cam here, I was going to drop out, get a GED, and turn my back on my whole family for drugs and friends. Now I have graduated high school and I am going to be starting college this January. I plan to major in graphic design (because I love art) and business. Things have changed so much and I know they will never stop changing until the day I die. I plan on living until I am a hundred and thirty.

Something I learned here from the best woman I know other than my mom, is to do what I have to do and not care what everyone else thinks. She always told us how she and God had this, and it is something I have used and taught others. I have never felt so worthy, intelligent, beautiful, powerful or pure until Red River. I have learned so much and I have so much to offer to everyone now. I cannot save people from doing the same things that I did, but I can make sure they know what they are getting into before they make that choice. Kids like me should not be dying because society just turns their heads. The way I was living is not a normal life; it is not something anyone should experience. All the things that I learned here and use now, were at home and in my face.

I am leaving soon and I cannot wait, but at the same time, I am scared out of my mind. I am leaving people that I love and going home to my family. Life is starting all over again for me. This will by my third, and I know this one is my true one, the one that will be for me, what I want it to be.

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